Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Why I adore my husband...

Yesterday, after listening to the rather heavy Irish accents in a Westlife interview, I concluded that singing tended to eliminate accents. After all, two key features of accents are tonality and speed, and in a song, both tonality and speed are predetermined (assuming one sings in pitch, of course.)

My husband merely raised an eyebrow at me when I attempted to explain my point of view, and then proceeded to sing, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" in the most nasal voice possible. You didn't just hear the hillbilly accent. You could see it, smell it, and taste it too.

Fine, he made his point. And he made me giggle.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Why are children such effective liars, and why are their dads so bad at catching a lie?

This morning, my younger son runs in into the bedroom, his father not far behind. I hold out my arms for a hug and the child demurs.

Automatically, my mommy instincts kick in. I look at my husband. "Did you take him to the potty?"

My husband responds with, "I asked him if he went to the potty, and he said, 'Mommy took me potty. Said good job.'"

OMG, my three and a half year old lied to my husband, and worse, my husband fell for it.

How did I know my child hadn't yet gone to the potty? He refused to hug me. He always refuses to come to me if he thinks I'm going to haul him off to the potty.

Either daddy instincts FAIL or mommy has trust issues.

Probably both.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Why rules rarely work in this household...

Today, after breaking up yet another dispute between my two sons over MY Kindle Fire HD, my husband comes up to me and with an absolutely straight face says, "I think we need to have a hard and fast rule on electronic usage in this house."

Okay, so I'm waiting for the hard and fast rule. We've already have several hard and fast rules on the topic. "No more than 30 minutes a day" became "No more than 1 hour a day." I'm not even sure what the latest rule is.

Anyway, my husband says, "There should be no more than 10 electronic devices per child, and they cannot spend more than 27 hours a day on it."

Silly me, I was actually expecting him to be serious. But this is why it's so hard to get mad in this household when rules are broken. Somehow, we manage to find humor in everything...

Why do males regress to half their age when they get sick?

A bug is making the rounds in my house, and suddenly, I'm surrounded by toddlers again. My younger son, three and a half, is a good boy when he's sick. He lies in bed and sleeps all day, though he insists on being cuddled by mommy or daddy. He did, however, apparently forget how to talk and has regressed to a one and a half year old. Whimpers are the medium of communication, supplemented, of course, by mommy and daddy's amazing telepathic skills. Occasionally, the mind reading fails, but he's easily assuaged by a kiss, hug, and cuddle.

My older son, six, regressed to three years old. He whined and complained more in five minutes than my younger son did in twenty four hours. I need to get the older boy married off early so that some other unfortunate girl can take care of him.

My husband, my dear husband, regressed too, but since he's a great deal older than the boys, he only regressed to a teenager. This one I'm stuck with. I can't marry him off because he's mine. He is a sweetheart, though. Now that the boys are on the mend and I am sick (I'm always the last to catch whatever is going around the house), my husband is making lemon ginger honey teas for me to soothe my throat.